Learning Outcome Reflection

Identify own strengths and areas for growth.

While this project has undoubtedly helped me better identify and understand my own strengths, I’m here today to focus on areas for growth, or weaknesses. Most people who know me will tell you that I am a hard worker, and that I do my best whenever possible. I am someone who does not procrastinate and strives to thrive – I pursue success. But, regardless of work ethic, I am human, and a 17 year old at that. WHile I do my best on the majority of occasions and tasks, there are certainly areas where I slack or could use some work on improvement. One of these areas, specifically related to my IB career, has been CAS. Overall, my CAS project appears successful, with a wave of interest in MUN at La Paz, domestic and foreign conferences, and a brand new student government. However, upon closer examination, it becomes apparent that I have spent large amounts of time doing…nothing. There are large gaps in my project where all I really did was sit around and write journal entries, focusing on my other schoolwork as CAS was swept under the rug and ignored. For a while this was acceptable as I had just completed my first conference and could use the guise of celebration and reflection to avoid work, however at a certain point it became noticeable, and I still did nothing. This drastically affected my third trimester grade, and was a huge morale blow as my IBDP year 1 came to a close. And yet, I still continued to ignore my CAS experience. As summer came and went, I had focused all my energy on tasks such as extended essay, leaving no effort or time for CAS planning. While it is difficult for me to admit/discuss, I know exactly what has caused this drastic rut in work. Contrary to how it must look like from an outside perspective, what we’ve seen here is not an example of procrastination, but rather one of avoidance. I’m a very high stress person by nature, and I have been since I was little. As I grew up, I learned that stress could for the most part be combatted by direct, hard work. Tasks completed alleviate stress, and this is largely the factor that has contributed to my work ethic today (i.e. I wrote my TOK essay first draft in one night, two weeks before the first draft was even due). However, even though my high stress personality has been instrumental in maintaining a steady, successful work ethic, it is a double edged sword. Projects that cannot be attacked head on, projects that require patience, planning, reliance on other people/events – these all give me extreme difficulty. Because of my personality, having to wait/rely on other people results in a TON of stress, and often leads to my avoidance of these projects entirely. By avoiding them, I am able to temporarily rid myself of the stress they bring and focus on other, more concrete tasks. Unfortunately, the qualities of my trouble project that I described above just happen to perfectly describe the CAS experience. Thus, I find myself avoiding CAS, merely trying to avoid the stress that I know acknowledging my project will bring. But as we know all too well (IB has certainly taught us) that putting off large tasks does not alleviate the stress – it merely allows that stress to build and build until it comes cascading down, destroying grades and reputations as it goes. But fear not. For I’ve identified my mistake, my enemy, and they say that knowing your enemy is half the battle. I know what I’ve done wrong, and I’m taking steps to alleviate it. I started by making a simple Gantt chart, and the marketing plan attached to this post shows that I plan on sticking to that chart. Things will change, they will get better, and I will see to it. This next phase of my project is a daunting one, but I am ready. My goal for this project is to leave a legacy at La Paz – a legacy that instead of “Oh remember that one conference we did for that random project” is “let’s make sure this project continues” and that people remember my name. I will not let MUN at La Paz die simply because I was stressed. Ooh rah!